Full Transparency

Taking a jab on posting monthly blogs, sharing my experiences and thoughts on what life brings as I create more this year so welcome! I’ll try to make this brief because I know niggas don’t like to read much but if you are one of those types that don’t mind reading a bit, thank you. I’m normally quiet but I tend to ramble when I’m passionate so bear with me. Now let’s get to it.

Full transparency. I gotta get back to me. I was driving earlier today and so happen to look in the rear view mirror and saw how dark around my eyes were. I’m like fuck, nigga you need some rest. You need some energy too. And you got fat as fuck. You always been fat but now you’re FAT AS FUCK BOY. Me and the homies shot a short film over the Christmas/New Year break and I haven’t started editing til a couple days ago. Why? No real excuse. I’m trying to learn how to not be in my head so much about EVERYTHING. Still thinking about my best friend ending our friendship in the summer of 2024, dealing with that heartbreak. That bond meant the world to me. Falling off the wagon physically and creatively since then. Thinking about an old friend who passed away unexpectedly, she didn’t get a chance to see 30. I’ve been mentally trying to put a new battery in my back that I felt was snatched out. Rebranding LNT last year was the start. A rough one but at least I started.

I kept seeing these nostalgic videos on TikTok of old stores and commercials from the 90s and 2000s and the whole y2k retro futurism type shit has always been fascinating to me. So I worked on a new logo, designed new clothing concepts for the rebrand and created a magazine. I’m thinking about those magazines we used to skim through while shopping at your local grocery store (RIP to the Winn Dixie in Quincy, FL. I’m still heartbroken about them closing it down). The ones with them racing cars and guns, them XXL magazines. Nostalgia was winning me over and also, I believe that every photographer should print their art.

I updated this script I wrote back in 2019 a few months ago and we shot it in December. I should’ve been done editing it by now. I used to shoot and start editing on the same day. I don’t know why I waited til we shot everything first to start editing. One thing I was in my head about was if I should hire an editor because it’s been so long since I edited anything of my own, let alone shot a new project. I’m currently 45% done. Maybe I lost my groove. I definitely didn’t want it to show with this film because I think if done right, it could be something worth watching you know? I want to submit this to a film festival, see where I can take it, see if I’m going in the right direction. I have other projects in the works for this year and I want to be more consistent with everything. 

When I check back in next month, the film will be done completely. I’ll be consistent going to the gym 3-4 days out the week. I’ll be in a better place mentally. I’m praying for it. Okay, this was longer than I hoped it would be. My bad. If you’re still here with me, that means you really fuck with me and I appreciate you for that. I’ll check back in soon.